Life’s always greener on the other side

'Life's always greener on the other side' - In western philosophy and our modern culture, this saying is meant to teach us about not comparing ourselves to others and not trying for things that are unattainable, yet ironically this is exactly how marketers sell to us each and every day, invoking our desires, to always want more and to never be satisfied. This became massively apparent to me when I first came back to the UK having lived in SE Asia for over 10 years and being bombarded from all directions with advertising everywhere I went. This is not to say that this phenomenon isn’t creeping in (more like a tsunami) to daily life where I was, it’s just so more blatant and advanced here. 

For me I was always lucky in that I consciously decided early in life to not focus on other people’s greener grass but to focus on my own little patch, my ‘lot in life’ so to speak and make it the very greenest I could. 

Now that seemed like such a simple concept at the time and one I found very easy to follow, but in fact, if you actually think about it, it’s remarkably profound.

How so you’re asking? 

Well, let’s take a look at some of the problems in modern society that you see on an everyday occurrence. 

1. The feeling of not being good enough. Not good enough for what? Against who? What are your comparisons? If we then include social media into the mix this is escalated a thousandfold. 
2. Then there’s the aspect of call out/ outrage pc culture trying to make and show yourself superior to others. If I point out his/her flaws I will look superior and others won’t see my weaknesses (still comparing yourself to others and wanting to be seen). 
3. And then there’s the latest in neo-liberalism on the far left which has arguably taken over from the Catholic Church whereby heretics were burnt at the stake and in a modern-day culture where everything and everyone else is wrong and should adjust themselves into your thinking.
4. Lastly, there's the white privilege concept and victim mentality whereby we have been given a shitty lot in life and the cards are stacked against us therefore life’s not fair.

Ok so now let’s take a look at my philosophy and see whether it could work in our modern-day society or if there are any flaws in it?

I want to focus so much on my shitty lot in life and make it the very best it can be I just do not have enough time or energy to worry about anyone else’s greener grass! Now that’s not to say I’m selfish and just self-centred. No, anyone who enters my lot will be treated with the same focus and attention and love that I give to my life. 

If you’re reading this you’ll notice that I’m white and a man and therefore fit into the little bracket of well your lot was just better to start with than ours so how would you know?

Oh but was it? So before you judge here’s a quick overview of my life;

At the age of two, I was ripped away from my mother and siblings and put into foster care, where I spent the next 3 years going from home to home, having very little in the way of decent nutrition, wore hand me downs from Charity clothing and apparently had the most terrible things done to me (I won’t go into detail but let your imagination do it’s worst). So NO, in fact, my lot wasn’t great to start and probably, more than likely a damn sight worse than most of yours. Even though you think you’ve had it hard or rough and life is just stacked against you, you’ll probably find that it never is. 

I will tell you one thing though; I will do everything I can, every single day of my life to make my grass the very greenest I can make it and anyone who wishes to join me on my lot will be treated with love and kindness as much as I can give (maybe a little bit of ribbing if you’re a dick). 

So carry on comparing your shitty lot to everyone else’s and believe me it’ll never get better and if you’re one of the fortunate, those nice liberal folk who just want to help out, STOP! Stop trying to make other people’s lots better. My suggestion for whatever it’s worth...

Look at your own grass and work out what it is you can do to make it as green as you possibly can. Go on give it a go. Try it for a week, then a month and watch how much your life changes and watch as those around you begin to grow too. 

If you’re not sure about how to go about this and what tools you need, then you can always drop me a line and we’ll talk. 

Good luck and have a wonderful green patch in life.