04.07.2025

You’re too afraid to say it, so I will. Gender bias is often created by WOMEN.

You’re too afraid to say it, so I will.…

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You’re too afraid to say it, so I will.
Gender bias is often created by WOMEN.

I watched a video yesterday.

A woman - calm, articulate, explained how married women with children are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and low self-worth.

Her conclusion?

That we deserve more recognition because of the burden we carry as women.

And while I understand the intention

it’s the impact I’m worried about.

Because what she described wasn’t empowerment.

It was a sales pitch built on pity.

And here’s what I won’t do:

❌ I won’t pretend that motherhood is a trauma.
❌ I won’t paint marriage as a psychological threat.
❌ I won’t beg for workplace equity on the basis that women are crumbling.

Because I’m not.

And most of the women I work with aren’t either.

But if this is the narrative we push:

🧠 That being a woman = suffering
💬 That having children = instability
💍 That being married = depression

Then why are we surprised when employers hesitate to promote us?

What exactly are we selling here?

We’re telling the world we’re broken -

and then calling it equity when they try to fix us with quotas.

Let me be clear.

Yes, many women struggle.

Yes, many women suffer.

Yes, many mothers face systemic obstacles.

I know this because it happened to me too.

But I didn’t fight gender bias by asking for opportunities because I suffered.

I fought it by showing my value.

By proving that motherhood didn’t dilute my capability

it deepened my perspective.

You don’t win equality by saying:
“We’re a risk—treat us delicately.”

You win it by showing:
“We’re valuable—treat us fairly.”

I’m also questioning the data.

📊 Where’s the control group of men?
📊 Why wasn’t male suicide, stress, or financial pressure part of the study?
📊 How do we draw a direct line from marriage or motherhood to anxiety - without even examining the system around it?

I said what I said:

This narrative doesn’t protect women.

It undermines us.

I lead an HR consultancy that deals with real bias, real leadership gaps, real tribunals.

And I can tell you now -

Half the problem isn’t just the system.

It’s the story we’re telling about ourselves inside it.

Are we fuelling gender bias by convincing the world we’re barely coping?

👋🏽 𝗛𝗶, 𝗜’𝗺 𝗧𝗶𝗻𝗮, 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗥 𝗛𝗮𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁.
𝗪𝗲’𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗥 𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗼𝗼.
𝗪𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝘅 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗥 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴.

𝗠𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 - 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲.

Have possible HR and gender bias issues in your workplace? I'd love to chat:
https://lnkd.in/eSXgRSX5


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Founder of HR Habitat, award winner of "Best HR & Employment Law Consultancy, 2024" title. As featured in BBC Oline, BBC Asian Network Radio, Telegraph & more. 

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