The pursuit of your life purpose?

Clients come to me wanting to know what it is they should be doing in life, what dreams should they have? They’ve read many different books and listened to Simon Sinek's Ted Talk on finding 'Your why'. Which is essential for any would-be entrepreneur. And I keep on hearing from other online coaches never to ask a client ‘What is their life purpose?” I can understand the reasoning for this but the fact remains many men still feel as if they should have a life purpose as if it is some magic pill that by having a life purpose it will make everything else be some much better. 

When the reality is, that as an example, even during this lockdown they can’t even follow up on simple promises they made to themselves and their families. 

They are unused to working from home and therefore they have not set themselves a daily routine. They promised they would clear out the shed and yet it’s 2 weeks into the lockdown and the shed still sits there, full up and untidy as ever. 

They promised themselves to lose weight and yet cannot even follow a simple diet plan or complete the exercises needed.

The all too well-known phrase of “To reach the top of the mountain it takes the first step.” Is so very obviously true and well known and yet people often do not take that first step. Why? Because it’s that first step that is the hardest. It’s that first step that has to overcome the inertia of your normal easy life. For those that know about deadlifts the initial lift from the floor is where you have to drive through the most to clear that initial inertia. 

I myself made a promise that I would lose weight over this lockdown time and I would improve my running. To be honest I have been attempting to improve my running for longer than a year now and if I’m also being honest I have made no progress up until now. The reason for this? Simple repetition, I’m now running 4 times per week instead of once or sometimes twice per week. Plus I’ve increased my distance from 3 to 5km to 10 to 16km per run. This gives me time to not concern myself with the ‘mountain top’ but to focus on every step of the way. Plus it almost becomes a daily ritual and then a habit. My running is slow and steady but my form is becoming easier and if I push myself I can get much quicker times, but that deters me from my goal which is to enjoy running again and to build up a steady running foundation not to be the fastest runner.

This takes me back to my original point if you cannot follow a daily routine or simple goal which is a promise to yourself or to your family then what do you honestly think your purpose in life is? 

Because no matter what you desire your purpose to be and finding 'your why', you haven’t built the fundamental principles to achieve anything. You cannot even complete a promise to yourself. 

Your purpose is all but a dream,  a fantasy, a wishful thought that you will never achieve UNLESS YOU CHANGE YOUR WAYS. 

Yes, it may be a little bit harder than usual and you may need to make some minor sacrifices. But all of these sacrifices and steps you make yourself take build self-discipline. And self-discipline is one of the most fundamental principles that is needed for you to achieve anything in life. 

The good thing about self-discipline is it can be learnt by anybody that is willing to face the truth about themselves and get up off of their arse and do whatever it takes. 

Self-discipline is not about hardship and refusing yourself the good things in life, it is taking control and pushing for the better things in life, the things that matter. 

The feeling of completion and satisfaction in having overcome the inertia of laziness and completing a task that you knew you had to do and no matter how much you put it off, it would still bother you. 

How did you cope with this nagging thought in the back of your head? You lied to yourself or just as bad you made excuses. I’ll get it done over the weekend. I’m going to do it right after I’ve watched this program. I know I should do it but...the sky is blue, water is wet. They are all excuses and lies to yourself which in turn has an effect on your morale and self-esteem. Don’t let it and don’t do it. TAKE BACK CONTROL. 

If you are reading this then as soon as you finish, make yourself a daily routine. Write it out on a whiteboard, A4 piece of paper something that you will be able to see. Don’t put it on your phone unless it’s an app that gives you clear reminders. Tell your family what you are doing to keep you accountable. 

First thing in your daily routine is;

Set yourself a time to wake up, for some people, this isn’t necessary because they already have self-discipline, but for you that know this is exactly what you do, then set yourself a wake-up time that is at least 8 hours after you go to sleep. Then set yourself a task that takes you out of bed and you either have to make your breakfast or coffee and you perform 5 minutes of movement exercise or even meditation that gets you to focus on your day, not the same as meditation that you aim to clear your mind.

Then whether you are a morning person or not you can do your daily exercise and get it out of the way or if you’re not a morning person you can sit yourself down at your predetermined place of work in your house. Set yourself a target of either completing a set amount of work or completing a certain amount of time. 

Give yourself a break either for drinks to reset your thinking or work through until lunchtime. 

Give yourself a break for lunch and depending on your workload either carry on your work at your designated workspace or practice a task that you need to finish. Once again if you’re not a morning person then finish your exercise plan for that day. The longer you leave it the easier it will be to skip it until tomorrow. Don’t do this, make it easy for yourself and get it out of the way.

Your at-home so do not work into the evening making some time for family activity whether it be silly games or group tasks or chores. 

Look you don’t have to do any of the suggestions I have given but at least realise that you are not making the most out of your life. You’re not fulfilling your true potential for your family. And if you are happy with this and your family is truly happy with this then no one should change that for you nor should they influence you to change, but if you want more and you know your family wants more from you then you know what to do.