What are the tenets of a good coach? (Gift Inside)
The role of coaches is to support self-knowing and develop self-mastery over time. Coaches aim to bring support and clarity to their clients and/or organisation. So, what are the commitments (or commandments) for coaches in order to generate such results?
1) Do not harm, and when in doubt, abstain. This is the very first one. Whatever intervention the coach in planning to bring, s/he must be sure not to create any harm, pain, or distress. This implies from the coach’s side to hold on to her/his own understanding of the world, opinions, and judgments. The Candidate is the focus of the session (client-centred approach) and what the client thinks is accepted and respected. This does not mean unquestioned. The coach does not listen to respond but s/he listens to generate, hence questions are focused on supporting the Candidate’s introspective journey.
2) Commit Yourself fully. The second focuses on motives and self-commitment. The coach indeed has to really believe in the Candidate, in their studies, and more profoundly, they must believe in their mission, their vocation, and their purpose. Commit Yourself to continuous development, Commit Yourself to endless learning, Commit Yourself to the profession, Commit Yourself first.
3) Feed the hope and motivation of Your clients. Coaching is motivational as well, helps to turn the torch of our attention on the good rather than the bad and ugly. For a coach being motivational does not mean being positive at all times. Hope and motivation do not come by chance. In order to bring motivation is good to talk about reasons, necessities and priorities, dreams and strategies, understand resources available and accessible, rationalise the Emotional inner strengths of the candidate in order to make the process smoother, and so on. Hope comes often in the form of a strategic plan for an improved future, career-related or personal-related. In the majority of cases, involves both the personal and professional spectrum.
4) Remain fresh and receptive. Crucial rule. It is critically important for the coaches to see, listen and understand beyond what is said. For genuine “empathic listening” the coach has to be fresh, calm, focused, and motivated. I am a lover of Stephen Covey model about the five levels of listening. It is a topic easy to understand and to relate to, it did resonate well with all previous clients so far and I did use it for a one-day training course in Gdansk, Poland, on Oct 22. Being and staying receptive means working on Your attention, freshness, and calmness. For the coaches to reach this state of openness we are often advised to create a personal, appropriate preparative routine before starting the sessions. We will find it later in this same document.
5) Build the Human Relationship as best as You can. I love repeating We are Humans before being Experts. For the coach firstly, the human relationship is a must-have. The coach has to like the coachee, and more importantly, the coachee has to like the coach. The coachee has to accept the coach’s support, the coach has to be allowed into an emotional space of safe sharing, confidence, and trust. For this not to be theory but to be real there must be a sort of connection between the coach and the coachee, hence, building the relationship as best as You can is solidly amongst the ten.
6) Take good care of Yourself. This is applicable not only to coaches but more extensively to all of us. The profession of the coach is caring about other humans, hence of course You must care about Yourself first. How a person “take care of her/himself” is very personal. I personally consider my personal care tasks, for example, regular meditations, taking time off from the business to prepare my food, slowing down and practicing mindfulness exercises, reading, and attending the school of philosophy as well I consider it taking self-care, intellect, spirit, social (although virtual) relationships, acquisition of new insights, etc, they all work towards the same betterment’s direction. Concluding the point, what is Your meaning of self-care?
7) Ask for feedback, and be ready to improve Your service. I believe this is the starting point of self-development, growth, and self-improvement. Always doubt the efficiency of Your service although feeling secure with it, keep Your mind open to adapt and morph Your interventions. Feedbacks from former clients are crucial. Is an important tenet for the coaches to welcome feedback with a smile as there might be an opportunity for development, especially with negative ones.
8) Be transparent and genuine. This is well related to building a good human relationship. More closely, this encourages the coach not to try acting as someone else. A phrase I remember from Coach and Author Yannick Jacob was: We coach as we are. I feel is everything into this minimal phrase. “We coach as we are”, implies being genuine, authentic, sincere, and transparent (of course not only professionally, as mentioned, coaching has to be a vocation). Do not hide who You are, just be Yourself. I love this dynamic because favours both the coach and the coachee. The coach feels confident with who s/he is, and the coachee feels s/he has an authentic person next to. I firmly believe the one thing the human does greatly is Being Himself or Herself. We oftentimes fall short when we forget to do so.
9) Have Your own preparation routine. Every coach has her/his own routine, or we hope so. Would be unprofessional and inefficient to arrive into a coaching session distracted or mentally busy. I personally love to take twenty-two minutes of meditation before the session; I commit to leaving all my businesses and concerns outside that coaching space. I am there for the other human and my businesses are just a distraction at that moment. I am there to serve her/him fully. The meditation concludes with a gratitude message where I thank the Universe for the responsibility and I wonder for the peak of acumen and the most empathic attention in order to provide the best of support to the human being in front of me.
10) Love. This is the proper “last but definitely not the least”. In this context, love means loving Yourself (related to taking good care of Yourself), loving Your profession (Committing to it fully), loving Your client, loving helping others, loving Your mission, honouring Your purpose, loving it, fully and unconditionally. If You are willing to widen the circles of love, love Your masters too, and be grateful. If You are spiritual and would love to still expand those circles, You might love all forms of living beings, love Nature and her creations, love Your soul and take care of that essence of You, love the whole Universe and his perfection.
Firstly, thanks for the time You spent reading. If Emotional Intelligence coaching stimulates Your curiosity and You feel intrigued by the topic, please do get in touch, You surely will find a friendly-professional human willing to help on the other side
I am gifting 11 sessions to 11 strangers before the end of the year. It aims to be my gift to the Universe. I am committed to supporting human flourishing, with no expectations in return, it wants to be a genuine gift. Hope You will take advantage!
In the whilst, best of blessings.
Nick
Coaching and Mentoring
Emotional Intelligence
meditation
Training and Development
Wellbeing Coaching